


keep you with me in my heart

by prettyoddity



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Falling In Love, Fluff, M/M, Non-Idol Verse, Romance, Single Parents, Super Light Angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-11
Updated: 2018-02-16
Packaged: 2019-03-16 19:12:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13642677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prettyoddity/pseuds/prettyoddity
Summary: I guess it's safe to say that single father Kwon Soonyoung's teenage life is biting back at present day him in probably the best way possible, when the irrationally beautiful and all-the-same tsundere Lee Jihoon comes back into his life. Somewhere between adjusting to familiar green sceneries and fresh air, ice cream parlor dates, children's lullabies, doctor's appointments, and late night catching ups; Soonyoung, for the longest time, allows himself to fall in love once more.The catch here is that the falling-in-love with the same person after the falling-out-of-love makes all senses of familiarity irrelevant. It will leave you wondering whether you really did fall out of love or not.





	1. prologue: part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this fic is technically the first one i had ever published on here, it was originally titled 'from the heart' but i deleted it now
> 
> just wanted to let ya know lmao

Rain pours from the evening sky, pattering against the pavement, and a sudden grumble of thunder is heard.

 

A small whimper reaches Kwon Soonyoung's ears, and he looks down at his daughter, her hand holding his tighter. They stop in their tracks.

 

"What's wrong, Hye?"

  
"It's scary, Pa," she whines.

 

Soonyoung chuckles, squatting down to her height, and then lets go of her hand to pat her on her hooded head. "It's just thunder. It won't hurt you, princess. Not when Pa is here."

  
"Really?"

  
"Really really," he smiles, then stands back up and holds her hand.

  
They continue walking home, an umbrella protecting them from the downpour.

 

Today is his daughter's third birthday, and Soonyoung brought the toddler out for the day. He brought her to the arcade, dressed in the gift she recieved the previous night (the best outfit Soonyoung had ever picked out, may he admit), had a meal, some ice cream at that Really Intimidatingly Bright ice cream parlor, and ended off the day with nice, classic karaoke.

 

Soonyoung wonders if he spoils Sohye too much.

 

They start walking home by 7, and it doesn't really help that it starts pouring. Lucky for them both, Soonyoung was that paranoid type of parent who is almost never unprepared for anything.

 

And now, Soonyoung is making a rather poor attempt to keep Sohye from running in the rain and getting wet and tripping over her little feet. Soonyoung is _this_ close to scolding her until she eventually does fall on her butt, and he realizes that he is _very much_ thankful that his daughter doesn't cry easily. He shakes his head as he puts the umbrella over them again, helping her up by the hand. The two go back to walking hand-in-hand in comfortable silence, with Sohye stomping on and dancing around every freaking puddle she encounters, a childhood habit of Soonyoung that she had unsurprisingly inherited.

 

"Pa~"

  
"Hm? What now?"

  
"Can you... carry me?" she asks in a little voice. "Please, please, please? I mean, only if it's okay with you..."

 

Soonyoung fondly sighs as he wordlessly crouches down to ruffle her hair and pick her up. He's proud that she uses the 'please' word now, bless her soul. Sohye wraps her tiny arms around Soonyoung's neck, and tucks her head into the crook of it. She dozes off in a matter of seconds, the sounds of her breathing mixing with the rain relaxing Soonyoung, like, a lot.

 

He wonders for the nth time today if he spoils his daughter a tad bit too much.

 

It doesn't take a genius to observe that he is drained of all energy, but everything was worth it in the end. Even if he looked funny carrying a hugeass bag with all of Sohye's necessities the whole day, Soonyoung wouldn't ever trade the pure and complete and contented feeling of being in this peaceful moment for the rest of the whole world.

 

* * *

 

They arrive at their apartment complex half an hour later, and Soonyoung wishes for nothing but the confines of his bed. Nothing comes easy though. He carefully takes off his and Sohye's muddy shoes, as to not wake her up, and gently places her on the couch to snooze after removing her raincoat.

 

Soonyoung tidies up a bit of the place, and changes into his sleepwear. He washes up and brushes his teeth. He washes Sohye up, changes her clothes, ties her hair up in two little pigtails, and brushes her teeth as well. Soonyoung is surprised he managed to do all of that with her half-asleep; her slanted eyes just like his barely opening. He gets back out again to lock up the doors and turn out the lights before tucking her in.

 

Soonyoung sighs when he finds the latter already tucked under the covers on his bed.

 

_Ah, I didn't get her her own bed for nothing. And now she already tucks herself in too. How'd I raise this kid? She's too smart._

 

He doesn't bother moving her, and Soonyoung yawns as he checks his phone one last time before settling in. He can always post the pictures from today the next day, anyway.

 

"...Appa."

 

Wah, this kid's too good at fake sleeping. Soonyoung doesn't even turn to look at her. "Yes, princess?"

 

He feels her sit up, and before he knows it, she's attacking his face with kisses everywhere. Why does she always show affection in the most aggressive ways?

 

"Sohye is very happy that Pa took her out today!! Thank you!!!" she shouts while sitting on his stomach.

 

"I just wanted the both of us to enjoy your birthday, and Pa is happy that you are happy. I'm allowing you on my bed tonight, okay? It's been a long day, so go back to sleep, little one," he says, as he gently pulls her down to kiss her forehead.

 

"And what did I say about being loud at night? The neighbors might kick our door down." he adds jokingly.

 

"Okay, okay, sorry!! Goodnight. I love you~" she whisper shouts as she lies back down.

 

"Love you too, princess. Goodnight."

 

With that, Soonyoung fondly smiles as he concludes that he's been blessed with the best daughter ever (who he loves to spoil, though he will never admit that), before closing his eyes to drift off to sleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so hi okay . this work has been on hiatus for like 5 months because i had no idea what to do with it and how to write at all back then
> 
> four published works and some thinking later, i think i'll now be able to organize this and actually write it
> 
> i promised myself i wouldn't write a chaptered fic after i had completed my only chaptered fic yewlmsbh
> 
> but this was my first chaptered fic, and i just couldn't write more stories without this one nagging at me, telling me it's still not finished.
> 
> so . here i am
> 
> thank you for reading!!! hit me up on twitter @prlnceksy ??


	2. prologue: part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh, to be young and in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> set ten years before the events of prologue part 1.

The sound of a school bell is heard, and the students are itching to leave.

 

"You may take your lunch break now. Don't forget to turn in your assignments by the end of the week!"

  
"Yes, ma'am," the freshmen class answers in chorus.

 

Soonyoung takes his books, about to head outside the classroom, when someone calls his name.

 

"Soonyoung!"

  
He turns around to find Jihoon. He smiles, "Oh, hey, Jihoon. What's up?"

 

The humid June air has the girls' hair tied up, the guys' hair all messy, and everyone's uniforms loose and untidy. Jihoon is no exception, Soonyoung thinks, as he looks at him and his uniform tucked out, the two buttons from the top undone.

 

"I— uh— this... this is kind of embarrassing," he starts, looking down at his feet, fiddling with the pages of his textbook.

 

Soonyoung feels himself flush at the sight of the smaller boy embarrassed. He gulps. "N-No! I won't laugh. You can tell me."

  
Jihoon makes eye contact with him. "I... I'm kind of having some, uh, trouble with the math lesson and I was wondering if you could..."

  
"...If I could... help you out?" Soonyoung offers.

 

Jihoon perks up at that, looking away again. "T-that is— it's nothing like that! Only if you, like— only if you want to!"

  
And this earns him a chuckle from Soonyoung. "Of course I'd want to! No need to feel embarrassed, Jihoon. You might be better than me at math, but it's not a crime to have some off days."

  
"What are you saying? You're obviously better than me," Jihoon replies, coughing into his hand. "That's why I asked you for help, you nerd."

 

Soonyoung laughs. "You have a point there," he admits, running a hand through his black hair. "Would you— um— do you perhaps have anything to do this lunch break?"

  
"Um... I can— I can cancel, I guess—"

  
"—No! I mean— you don't— you don't have to do that, we can, I don't know, arrange for some other time, of course. And I can always go over to yours, because we're neighbors, of course, psh," Soonyoung rambles, making 'yeah, of course, duh,' gestures with his hands.

 

Jihoon thinks that the taller is cute, all fussed up like this. He hides a smile behind his hand. "I mean it, Soonyoung. I don't exactly wanna fail math, you know," he chuckles.

 

"Oh, really?" Soonyoung asks, his eyes brightening up. "I mean— yeah, duh, of course you don't wanna fail," _Great, Soonyoung. Stuttering is great_. He notices the pile of things Jihoon is carrying, and he immediately scurries to help. "You— you seem to have a lot there. May I?" he asks, offering his free hand.

 

Jihoon looks down at Soonyoung's hand, then back at the books he's holding in his own hands, which had three textbooks, two notebooks, and a folder of some music sheets under it. He feels himself turn red at the thought. But who is he to turn this down?

 

"Y-Yeah, you can..." he drifts off, and Soonyoung takes all the textbooks.

 

"Okay. Time is running. Let's go?"

  
Jihoon nods, following the taller out of the classroom.

 

* * *

 

"Because you got perfect marks on the test, I'll treat you ice cream! At the only ice cream parlor in our town. Or street food on our way. Or both!"

 

And now those words are echoing in Jihoon's head, as he contemplates over what he should wear when he meets Soonyoung.

 

_Okay, Jihoon. Calm the fuck down. This is not a date_.

 

But why is he worrying so much over what should he wear, how should he look, how should he act?

 

_It's nothing, Jihoon. You're being weird again. It's just Soonyoung. He's a cool person who won't mind that stuff. You've been his neighbor and classmate and friend for long enough to know that. This is just a celebratory treat, because you aced the quiz. No need to get all worked up over this, right_?

 

Yeah, _right_ , he thinks, though he spends twenty more minutes choosing between four tops, a jacket or a coat, running his hands through his black hair until it seems natural enough, and applying lip balm, just because he can.

 

Not too long after finishing tying his shoes, the sound of his house's doorbell resonates throughout the house, and he perks up because _holy shit I think he's here._

 

He jumps toward the mirror to observe himself again, taking a deep breath and fist-pumping the air, then grabs his phone before answer the door.

 

And to Jihoon's relief, he doesn't feel too overdressed, since Soonyoung apparently shares a similar casual fashion sense.

 

Soonyoung smiles brightly upon seeing him, his hands in his jacket pockets. "Hey!"

  
Jihoon feels himself inflate at how... how unreal the taller looks. "Hi."

  
"Sooo, aren't your parents around?" he asks, peering behind Jihoon.

 

Jihoon shrugs. "Nope. Busy work day, I guess," he steps out the door to close it, and locks it with the key in his hand. "I think it's funny that we're having ice cream in the middle of November. It's already really cold. Let's go?"

  
Soonyoung blinks. "We can have something else if you'd like."

  
Clearly, Jihoon is against that idea. He hides half his face under his scarf to not show his flushing. "I mean— I wasn't saying I didn't like ice cream or anything! Just that it's cute..."

  
Shaking his head, Soonyoung laughs. "Cute, huh," he mumbles. "Let's go."

 

The only ice cream parlor in their town square wasn't very far from where they lived, say it was only about a fifteen minute walk away.

 

The food stalls are up like always, and the kids who hang around every Friday are here like always because it's Friday, but Soonyoung's arm brushing against Jihoon's shoulder as they walk beside each other is not exactly a 'like always' occurance.

 

"Oh!" Soonyoung says, turning to look at him. "The egg bread stall is new! I'll buy us some."

  
But the other boy pushes away Soonyoung's hand that was already reaching for his pocket. "I-I'll pay for it!" he stutters out. "T-That is— It's not like I don't want you to, like, _pay_ for me— I mean, it should be me to treat you because it was you who worked hard to tutor me, and it's only right for me to give you something back—"

  
"—But your perfect mark is already what you gave back," Soonyoung says, pouting. "I get where you're coming from, but I want to—" he stops himself, and Jihoon thinks his eyes are fooling him for thinking Soonyoung turned a little pink. "I w-wanna do this for you..." he murmurs, diverting his gaze to his shoes.

 

Now, Jihoon's eyesight might fool him, but the heat spreading to his face won't. He scrambles his brain for something, anything, to say back, panicking when he thinks he's taking too long to respond. "Y-You're really sweet," he blurts out.

 

Soonyoung coughs, thankfully not awkward enough to reply "Thanks," then gestures toward Jihoon to follow him to the egg bread stall, his back facing Jihoon.

 

With the taller boy unable to see him, Jihoon slaps both of his heated cheeks in embarrassment, whisper-shouting to himself a "Wake up, Jihoon!"

 

Soonyoung turns around. "You say something?"

  
"N-No?" Jihoon asks, pretending to be clueless while regaining his composure.

 

"Oh, okay," he replies, smiling.

 

They stand in silence for a few minutes while waiting for the egg bread, and Jihoon flips open his phone just to avoid having to talk to Soonyoung. Once they have the food to munch on, the conversation returns and they're laughing over random stories they're suddenly telling each other (" _Why the hell would your brother say that 'candles aren't gonna be the only thing Jihoon will be blowing' at your birthday dinner in front of a family of respected doctors? What the hell?"_  
_"Because he hates me! Doesn't your brother or your sister hate you?"_  
_"Yeah, but, like, not enough for them to make inappropriate jokes about me_!").

 

And now they're third in line at the ice creamery, and Soonyoung is bugging him about not knowing what flavor to get.

 

"I'm not a fan of sweet things. Or spicy things. Definitely not spicy food."

  
Jihoon chuckles. "That's worth noting."

  
"Hey! I'm serious. I sweat while eating it."

  
"Even more reason that it's note-worthy."

  
Soonyoung rolls his eyes playfully. "Help me out with the ice cream, though."

  
"Well... not even chocolate? You don't like that?"

  
"I like it, but, it's too sweet."

  
"You can just always get vanilla."

  
Soonyoung ponders about it for a few seconds. "Eh. Not really."

  
"Mint, then! Or cookie dough. Really good ones!" Jihoon says, enthusiasm in his eyes, and Soonyoung feels bad to keep refusing him.

 

"Uh... I'll try mint?" he asks reluctantly, then the line moves and they're second in line.

  
Jihoon narrows his eyes at him. "You don't seem too sure though."

  
"No! It's okay."

  
"Hm. Strawberries are your favorite fruit though, am I right?"

  
Soonyoung gapes at him. "How'd you know that?"

  
"Because I do. You should just get the strawberry one, Soonyoung."

  
"...If you say so."

 

He expected it to be sweet, but the creaminess balanced it out. A rich flavor. He had to admit— he turned out to like it.

 

* * *

 

Soonyoung and Jihoon are second years, and it's currently eleven midnight on the 31st of December.

 

The two are at some house party held by some schoolmate, and both of them have gotten drunk for the first time. Soonyoung has been dancing for the past hour and everyone swears he'll pass out, and Jihoon has been either sending death glares at everyone and everything, or challenging Soonyoung when a good song comes up.

 

Now they're sitting somewhere but Jihoon suddenly registers that it's not just _somewhere_ because _why the fuck is Soonyoung's drunk ass sitting on his lap_? He found the only seat left here first!

 

"Soonyoung, what the fuck, get off me!"

  
"Naaah," he drawls out, bouncing in his seat.

 

"You're heavy, you know that."

  
"I'm not! You're just tinyyy."

  
"I'm not tiny!" Jihoon whines, repeatedly punching Soonyoung's back.

 

"Yah! Stop that."

  
"I'll stop if you get off me."

  
"I'll get off you... on one condition!" Soonyoung exclaims, smiling with his eyes upturned.

 

"And that is?"

  
"Tell me a secret."

  
Jihoon scoffs. "I want you to tell me a secret too."

  
"Not if you don't tell me yours first!"

  
Jihoon rolls his eyes at this. "Fine."

  
"Fine."

  
"Okay," Jihoon starts. "This one is kinda obvious. But not everyone knows it so, it counts as a secret."

  
"So?"

  
"I've never dated anyone before."

  
"Oh! Interesting," Soonyoung says, giving him a look. " _Very_ interesting. Lee Jihoon, very cute, very talented, and very gay, has never dated?"

  
"Yeah! Shut up now. Tell me yours."

  
"Now I feel bad. My secret will bring the mood down."

  
"I don't mind."

  
"...Okay. I'm moving to Seoul next year," Soonyoung declares, an unreadable expression on his face.

 

"...Oh. Really?"

  
"Really."

  
"How soon?"

  
"Few days after the end of this school year."

  
"Big city, huh?"

  
"Yeah."

  
"I hate you, Soonyoung."

  
Soonyoung perks up, turning around. "What?! Why?!"

  
"I'm joking. You just brought the mood down."

  
"Sorry," he says, sadly.

 

"Don't be sad," Jihoon chides, ruffling his hair. "You should make the most of the time you have left here. What else do you wanna do?"

 

Before Soonyoung could reply, a loud voice steals everyone's attention, telling them there's only one minute left until the clock strikes exactly 12:00. Everyone cheer and they start counting down from 60.

 

Soonyoung turns back to him again. "...You were saying?" _50, 49, 48_ ,

  
"Oh! I was asking you what else you wanted to do before you leave." _45, 44, 43,_

  
"Hm. What I want to do..." _37, 36, 35,_

 

"You don't have to answer me now, Soonyoung," Jihoon laughs. "Just make sure you'll be able to tell me and we can make it happen before the end of the school year." _25, 24, 23_ ,

 

"No, no! I do have something." _21, 20, 19_ ,

  
"Okay. Spill." _17, 16, 15,_

  
"Wait for it." _13, 12, 11_ ,

  
"Wait for what?" _9, 8, 7_ ,

  
"Wait, because I want to have my first kiss." _6, 5, 4_ ,

  
"You— what?"

  
"Three, two, one," Soonyoung whispers, smiling, before lifting Jihoon from the chair for him to sit in it to place Jihoon in his lap to face him, bringing him closer by the back of his head, connecting their lips in a deep kiss.

 

Oh, to be young and in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hehehehhehweh


	3. prologue: part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Soonyoung-hyung probably couldn't be your highschool sweetheart back then because he was too busy planning on being your sweetheart ten years later."

_Buzzzzz._

  
_Buzzzzz._

  
_Ring ring! Buzzzzz. Ring ring! Buzzzzz._

 

Literally, who the _fuck_ is calling him at the wee hour of seven in the morning?

 

Jihoon endures the ringing for a few more seconds, until it changes to voicemail.

 

"Oh my god, Jihoon," _Oh, shit, it's Joshua_. "You haven't left the house for three fucking days! Today is _Saturday_. Saturday fun day?"

  
"Loosen up a bit! We're even adjusting the Saturday for you. It's just gonna be movie night. You don't wanna keep on calling in sick this whole school week."

  
"Listen, Ji. I know you're hungover over Seungcheol. He didn't mean to hurt you. He had been worrying so much about how to call it off between you two without hurting you. Jihoon. Cheol is happy like this. You'll be happy like this too."

  
"He's starting to worry about you as well. We all are. If you don't come over at me and Seokmin's then I'm going to personally come over there to whoop your ass and drag you to movie night."

  
"Get out of bed now. Stop crying, Jihoon."

  
"Love, Shua!"

 

Jihoon doesn't know whether he's shuddering from Joshua saying all of that (including the ass whooping part) in his usual gentle, honey-like voice, or from Joshua knowing exactly what he's doing— still in bed, his eyes sore from crying the previous night.

 

He groans into his pillow, deciding he should stop being an asshole, and fix himself up, something he's failed to do for nearly four days, so that he can be presentable when he goes over to his friends for movie night.

 

So after dragging himself out of bed, taking a really long shower, eating the last lunchbox from his fridge along with some coffee, and replying to the messages he missed, Jihoon is now finishing up his new lesson plan— he's a music teacher for his old high school, by the way— and he actually gets out of his apartment to buy food.

 

He looks at his reflection in the mirror before leaving. _Yikes. Definitely gotta do something about his paler-than-usual face and reddening eyes._

 

* * *

 

"Lee Jihoon, are you fucking wearing makeup?"

  
The said boy sniffs through his tears. "A-Am I really that bad at putting it on?"

  
Seungkwan's eyes widen, shaking his head. "No, no, baby! It wasn't bad. I only realized because you're crying."

  
"I'm not a baby. Don't call me that. I'm your hyung."

  
"Okay, Jihoon- _hyung_. You don't have to put on concealer and some blush to make you look normal. You can always tell us, alright?"

  
"Alright."

  
"Alright. Now, whose fucking stupid idea was it to watch Music and Lyrics?"

 

No one speaks up.

 

"Seok..." Joshua starts.

 

"I'm sorry, hyung!!!" the boy wails, opening his arms to hug Jihoon.

 

"It's fine."

  
"It's fine? It's not! It was stupid of me to choose a romance movie where they sing and play piano and all!"

  
"We're pretty lame, honestly," Jihoons laughs. "Mid-20s guys watching this stuff."

  
"Tell me about it," Wonwoo comments.

 

"Let's just do something else," suggests Seungkwan. "Just... hm, is anyone up for Monopoly?"

 

Wonwoo raises an excited hand, but quickly puts it down when no one else does it. He pouts.

 

"Well," Seokmin says, "We can just have some story-telling! Oh! I have an idea. Let's make a skit, pretending we haven't seen each other since high school, then we'll pretend to catch up."

  
"Oh! That sounds fun," Seungkwan chimes in.

 

"I'm good if Seok is good," Joshua says.

 

"Obviously I wanted some Monopoly action but this is better than nothing," Wonwoo mumbles.

 

"Okay, then," finally says Jihoon.

 

"Which reminds me!" Joshua suddenly says.

 

Seokmin and Seungkwan look up simultaneously. "What?"

  
"Do you guys remember Soonyoung?"

  
Seokmin brightens up. "Oh! Soonyoung-hyung? Why?"

  
Wonwoo chuckles. "I thought you guys forgot about him. We still kinda talk. And have you seen his daughter? She's so cute???"

  
Joshua nods excitedly. "I didn't forget, Wonwoo. I meet up with him when I'm at Seoul sometimes. And his daughter is adorable, what the hell. Anyway, he told me he's moving back here in a few weeks!"

  
And _that_ catches Jihoon's attention. "Soonyoung? _Kwon_ Soonyoung?"

  
"Yeah!" Seokmin says. "Who else?"

  
"Uh, guys," Seungkwan starts. "I think you should all know that I don't know this Soonyoung guy."

  
"Oh yeah! Sorry, Kwannie," Joshua says. "He was one of our friends in high school. He left after his second year because he had to move to Seoul, though. He's the same age as Ji and Wonwoo."

  
"No, Shua-hyung!" Wonwoo starts. "You got it all wrong."

  
Joshua tilts his head at him. "Huh?"

  
"Seungkwan, Soonyoung wasn't just _one of our friends_ , you know. Come here," he gestures. He whispers in Seungkwan's ear.

 

Needless to say, Seungkwan looks _scandalized_ after that. "No way!"

  
"Yes way."

  
"Oh, my god," he says while laughing with Wonwoo.

 

"Why, why?" Seokmin asks. "What'd he say?"

  
Seungkwan ignores him. "So, Jihoon-hyung."

  
Jihoon looks up at him. "Yeah?"

  
"You never told me about your first love."

  
And Jihoon feels himself go hot. "Jeon Wonwoo!!! What'd you fucking tell him?"

  
"Nothing!!!" Wonwoo teases. "Just that Soonyoung was your highschool sweetheart."

 

H-He wasn't, okay!" Jihoon pouts. "Nothing happened between us, you know! He left too soon. I don't think he knew about that. He already has a daughter now anyway, and a wife or a girlfriend probably."

  
"You poor thing, Jihoon-hyung. Why doesn't love work out for you?"

  
"Shut up, Seungkwan."

  
"That's not true," Joshua and Wonwoo both say, and they smirk at each other. Joshua proceeds. "The girl left him with their daughter, you know."

  
"It's not too late," Wonwoo says.

 

"Color me surprised, hyung. This Soonyoung guy must be _really_ hot then, because Jihoon-hyung has exceptional taste."

  
"What makes you all think I should get with him?" Jihoon asks incredulously. "We haven't talked in forever. Haven't seen him in ages. I only hear about him every now and then."

  
"The two of you used to be so close, though," Joshua mumbles. "I expected you to keep in touch with him the most."

  
"I don't know," Jihoon says, quietly. "We just... drifted apart, I guess."

  
"More the reason why I think he's a great choice for you!" Seungkwan replies.

  
"Soonyoung-hyung probably couldn't be your highschool sweetheart back then because he was too busy planning on being your sweetheart ten years later," Seokmin jokes.

 

Jihoon nearly hits him with Joshua's guitar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)))) ayyyy


	4. chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It's a lot like running around in circles."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy reading !!!!

"...So, that's everything now?" asks Hansol, a good friend of Soonyoung's, as he circles around his pickup truck one last time.

 

Soonyoung heaves a sigh. "Yeah. I guess," he says, while caressing the asleep Sohye's head on his shoulder. "Don't you think my life is just going around in circles, Hansol?"

  
The younger boy furrows his brow at him. "No? What do you mean?"

  
"I mean—" Soonyoung chuckles rather dully. "I grew up there. I had to leave for Seoul to study, all alone, at eighteen. Now I'm twenty-seven, and I'm coming back home— something I've barely done for ten years. I'm twenty-seven, and I just took a really long leave from my job— I don't even know how this will work— and I don't know how I'll be able to bring my daughter to and from the hospital, try to make her live comfortably, and at the same time provide enough money and a few stable jobs for both of us. You know? And after a few months, when Sohye gets better, hopefully, we'll move back here again. And I'll _probably_ still be the same, you know? It's a lot like running around in circles."

  
"Hyung..." Hansol starts, slowly. "Cheer up! Life is hard like that. You're supposed to feel that way. To you, it might seem like you're only doing the same things again and again, but to everyone else it might be the opposite, you know. Me," he pauses, then continues. "I think you're really strong. You're one of the strongest people I've ever met, hyung. I can't imagine what you must've gone through to raise Sohye alone. Remember that, hyung. Your daughter needs you the most, and she's the most important to you too. It's simple. Don't fret too much."

  
Soonyoung forces himself to do as told, nodding. "Mm. I get it," he mumbles.

 

"Plus, you shouldn't be all too lonely there. Surely, someone would be glad to see you."

  
"Hm. I guess so," he says before laughing. "Sorry, Hansol-ah. Your hyung is in a bit of a crisis."

  
"Don't mind it. It's already three. Should we leave?"

  
"...Yeah. Yeah, we should," the elder replies. He turns around to take one last look at his apartment building. It'll be fine. They'll be fine. "Yeah. Let's go," he says, with more confidence now.

 

Hansol gets in the driver's seat, and Soonyoung follows in the passenger, his arm tucked over Sohye's head, her a-bit-too-long tufts of hair sticking out in different places. Soonyoung attempts to get the seatbelt on with both of them on the seat, only to ultimately fail and give up. He sighs, resting his head against the window. Just as he's about to doze off, his phone vibrates in his pocket.

 

 **[Joshua-hyung]**  
text me what time you're arriving

 **[Soonyoungie]**  
Why??

why not?  
just wanna meet ya when you come back, duh  
(may or may not bring some people with me)

Oh yeah okay sure  
Maybe in an hour, depends on the traffic ><

great!!  
i'll see you, then  
just at the parking by your old house, right?

Yep  
See you too, hyung  
And whoever the hell you're planning to bring with you

it's a surprise,,,  
**[received 3:22 PM]**

 

* * *

 

"Hyung! Soonyoung-hyung!" someone calls, and Soonyoung immediately stands on the tips of his toes to search for the familiar voice of Seokmin.

 

(He struggles to look for Seokmin, only to realize he was looking in the wrong direction. He turns around, toward where his family house was.)

 

"Seokmin-ah!" he calls, holding Sohye's hand, and waddling over to them. "Oh my gosh," he blurts out, before Seokmin pulls him in a hug.

 

After they've let go, Soonyoung asks "Oh— um, the others?" and Joshua appears with Wonwoo from inside a car, and another guy he doesn't know. Joshua hugs him as well, and Wonwoo ruffles his hair.

 

"Oh! And you are?"

  
"Boo Seungkwan!" the brunet greets warmly, his smile big, as they shake hands. "It's really great to meet you. I'm a friend and co-worker of Joshua-hyung, but I eventually grew closer to the other hyungs."

  
"Pleased to meet you too! I'm their friend from highschool— they probably already told you, anyway—and, oh, everyone! This is my little girl, Sohye," he says, gesturing to her and patting her head.

 

"Hi there!" Seungkwan chirps. "You look a lot like your father."

  
"You're really cute, Sohye-ya," Seokmin says, kneeling down and offering his hand for a high-five. She reluctantly returns it. Soonyoung chuckles. "Say hi, princess. They're friends of mine. You've met my Shua-hyung, right?" he points, at said boy.

 

"H-Hello," she mumbles. "My name is Kwon Sohye. Four years old," she smiles, holding out four fingers.

 

"Sorry," Soonyoung tells them. "She's really shy with new people," and pinches her cheek.

 

Joshua smiles back, waving. "It's nice to see you again, Sohye-ya."

  
"And Wonwoo-oppa thinks that Sohye-ya is very pretty!" butts in Wonwoo.

 

She clings onto Wonwoo's leg after that.

 

"Anyway," Soonyoung mentions. "I'll have to go back there," he gestures behind him. "My friend from Seoul that came with me drove me here and he's gonna help me unload. Do you guys wanna come with?"

  
"Yeah!" Joshua offers. "But, uh, actually a certain _someone_ didn't show up here, I'll whoop his ass," and he mutters that last part under his breath.

 

"Hm? Who?" Soonyoung asks.

 

"Oh, uh, it's Jihoonie. He was supposed to be here too, that guy. Always freaking late. Lee Jihoon, you remember?"

  
Soonyoung blinks. "Oh! Yeah, yeah, of course I remember," and suddenly he laughs. "Wow, I haven't seen him in a really long time. Back in high school, I remember he only reached up to here," he says, leveling his hand just above his shoulder.

 

"He didn't grow at all, you know," Wonwoo jokes.

 

"Is that right, Jeon Wonwoo?" calls a livid voice behind them, and Soonyoung turns around to find no one other than Lee Jihoon.

 

"What is?" teases Wonwoo. "You're late, Lee. Your house is literally right next to Soonyoung's."

  
"For your information, I'm _fashionably_ late. And I was at a meeting, okay?" he says, and he meets Soonyoung's gaze. The taller offers a hand out, and Jihoon shakes it casually. "Hey, Soonyoung," he smiles.

 

"Hi, Ji... um, it's been so long," he mentions exasperatedly. "Sorry. I've forgotten how you were like," he says, making 'sorry, I'm really stupid' gestures with his hands.

 

"I-It's fine. You can't expect me to remember either, can you? Um, uh, why'd you— why'd you move back here anyway? I mean, not that I don't want you here or anything! Just that it's been so long and all..."

  
"Oh, um, my daughter. Sohye," and he turns to look at her. "Sweetie, this is Jihoon, and Ji, this is Hye— anyway, uh, she..."

  
"She...?"

  
"She has a little, um, heart condition," Soonyoung finally says. The rest of the boys had been listening in too, and they've all suddenly stopped their own chattering. "It's, uh, it's nothing very bad, though," Soonyoung assures them. "You see, we had been aware of it early on so it hadn't gotten worse, but the doctor said that a calmer environment would further boost her health. So," he says, crouching down to hug Sohye from behind. "Here we are. Isn't Sohye happy to be here?"

  
She nods enthusiastically. "Super happy!"

  
"Mm," Soonyoung hums, a fond smile on his face. "That's true. After all, I'm happy if Hye is happy."

 

And Jihoon doesn't know why, but the sight of this scenario unfolding makes him feel a lot of emotions. It's sad because it's unfair for such unfortunate things to happen to two good people. But it's sweet, somehow, because it's only proof that a parent's love for their child makes all the difference. Jihoon meeting the Soonyoung of today only to compare him to the Soonyoung of ten years ago, realizing his drastic growth, makes all the difference. And because they're meeting again now after all the time that had passed, it makes all the difference. How can something feel miserable, yet heartfluttering at the same time? How does that make sense?

 

And Jihoon doesn't know why he can't help but feel bad. He'll have to give all the support he can, won't he?

 

But of course, he'll never admit that.

 

"Anyway," Soonyoung clears his throat. "Can you guys help me unload? There shouldn't be a lot, but catching up with old friends like this is always nice."

  
"And me!"

  
"And you, too, Seungkwannie."

 

They arrive to where Hansol's pickup truck is parked, and he's just leaning against the door on his phone.

 

"Hansol-ah," Soonyoung calls. "These are my friends, uh, this is Joshua-hyung, his boyfriend Seokmin, Jihoonie, Wonwoo, and Seungkwan." (Jihoon feels himself shake at Soonyoung's use of 'Jihoonie.')

  
"Ah! It's nice to meet you, I'm Chwe Hansol— oh my god."

  
"Huh?" asks Soonyoung, confused.

 

"Oh my god," Wonwoo says back. "Hansol!"

  
"Hyung!" Hansol exclaims, patting the elder when he pulls him in a hug.

 

The rest watch puzzled at the interaction until Hansol speaks up. "Oh! Wonwoo-hyung, I know him because he's th—"

  
Wonwoo's eyes widen, immediately covering Hansol's mouth. "—Because, um, uh, I met him online!"

  
"Uh? We didn't?

  
"Hansol! We did!" Wonwoo laughs, nervously.

 

"That's weird, because Wonwoo-hyung isn't fond of making online friends... or something like that," Seokmin comments.

 

"But I am!"

  
"Why can't you just tell them I'm your boyfriend's roommate?"

 

 _Oh, fucking crap_ , Wonwoo thinks.

 

"You're the roommate of his _what_?" Seungkwan cries.

 

"Oh, shit, was I not supposed to say that?" Hansol asks with wide eyes.

  
"Probably not, but you're cute and it's not your fault Wonwoo-hyung here keeps secrets from us," Seungkwan blurts out.

 

Hansol perks up. "Um... thanks, I guess? You're, uh— pretty cute yourself..."

  
Seungkwan turns a shade of scarlet, coughing. "A-Anyway, about Wonwoo-hyung."

  
"He has a boyfriend! In Seoul, even!" Seokmin points out exaggeratedly, as if accusing Wonwoo of killing someone.

 

Wonwoo blinks. "Yeah. Uh, surprise?"

  
"Surprise, my ass. No wonder you sometimes disappear and the next thing we hear is that you're out-of-town," Jihoon remarks. "Guess you're not bad at acting, Jeon Wonwoo."

  
Wonwoo rolls his eyes. "All of you should stop being dramatic. It's not even a big deal," he says nonchalantly, though he's glowing a faint pink. He pushes up his glasses to the bridge of his nose. "I wasn't planning on keeping it from you guys though, believe me."

  
"Yeah, whatever, we believe you," Joshua dismisses. "But you've got some storytelling to do later, mister."

  
"Fine," Wonwoo chuckles.

 

And Soonyoung finds himself laughing along too, finds himself feeling at home again, after a long time of not. It's a pleasant feeling, he has to admit.

 

The sky is blue and cloudy, thick green foliage is in Soonyoung's view wherever he looks, the air is very much clean and breathable, and it doesn't feel scary.

 

It doesn't feel scary, because Seokmin, and the warmth radiating from him, and his tight hugs, are all the same.

 

Joshua-hyung, and his gentle reassuring voice, and his kind smile are all the same.

 

Wonwoo, and his quirkiness, and the way he scrunches up his nose when he laughs, are all the same.

 

And Jihoon, a special friend that Soonyoung may or may not be able to admit he used to kind of like, is still the same. He still stutters over himself when he realizes his words are sweet, and denies them afterwards. He still bants with the others over even the little things. He still arrives late to gatherings and hangouts, geez.

 

And the sight of him still makes Soonyoung's heart skip a beat, like it did when he was a teenager, like it did whenever Jihoon would greet him in the hallways, like it did when he found out it was Jihoon who gave him a mixed CD on Valentine's— like it did ten years back then. Like Soonyoung hadn't grown up at all.

 

But today Jihoon's smile seems to be working at a lower wattage, and his eyes are a little downcast, yet Soonyoung chooses not to notice it. It's not like they're close enough for Soonyoung to ask about it and assume things, right?

 

Right.

 

The group finish setting up the essential things in the house in more or less half an hour, what with seven of them around (excluding Sohye), so it's still bright out when they finish. Soonyoung's finds out that his family house is honestly too big for just him and his daughter. Soonyoung also finds out that the others had planned a welcoming dinner for him and Sohye, and he drags along Hansol too, much to Seungkwan's persuasion.

 

Before they leave to eat, Soonyoung feels the urge to sincerely show his thanks.

 

"Thank you all so much. You didn't really have to do this," he says, shuffling his feet. "And now I feel bad, because after all these years, I barely bothered to visit you guys. But here you are welcoming me, and it feels so nice because I didn't even expect anyone to be glad to see me here at all. I'm so sorry for everything I hadn't done for you. I'll make it up in the future."

 

Joshua shushes him, telling him not to worry.

 

They share a big group hug after that.

 

With more certainty now, Soonyoung thinks that he and Sohye will be alright. They'll be fine.

 

* * *

 

_Summer, 13 years before._

 

_Soonyoung stops dancing to his Shinhwa CD, pausing it, when he hears his mother call him to go down from his room. He peeks outside the window, and the house left to theirs has a loading truck parked in front, and he observes the parents, and their two sons._

 

_He heads down to his mother, and they go outside to greet the new family that had moved in, and Soonyoung stands with his siblings and his parents. He deduces that the mother and father are doctors, with the father still in his lab coat work attire, and the mother having some sort of metallic-doctor-cart being put in the house. The taller of the two sons seems to be older than him. The shorter one looks younger than himself, and the guitar slung on his shoulder is bigger than him. Soonyoung chuckles._

 

_His family invites their neighbors for some snacks once their unpacking is done. Soonyoung's right; the parents are doctors. He's right; the taller son is older than him. He's wrong about the shorter son, though, because he's not younger than Soonyoung— they're the same age._

 

_"Oh? You're fourteen too?" Soonyoung asks, while they're in Soonyoung's room, and the new kid is looking at the pictures on the walls. "We're the same age. Nice to meet you, Jihoon. I'm Soonyoung," he says, offering out a hand and a bright smile._

  
_Jihoon bashfully takes it. "It's nice to meet you too."_

  
_"You, um, are you going to attend school here? I mean— yeah, duh, of course you are, sorry. There's only one highschool around here anyway."_

  
_"Yeah," Jihoon says, relaxing. "I'll attend that school from now on. We still have two years of middle school though, so, I'm looking forward to see you."_

  
_"Y-Yeah! Me too," Soonyoung nods. "Do you, like, uh, do music?"_

  
_Jihoon doesn't respond, perking up, and Soonyoung realizes it was a bit weird to bring that up suddenly. "Uh! I mean, I saw you carrying a guitar, so I thought you did. And I saw a grand piano too at the back of the truck, whew, you're family's rich."_

  
_Jihoon laughs. "Yeah, I do. Do you do music too?"_

  
_"Not really," Soonyoung confesses. "But I'm interested in it! I dance, actually."_

  
_"Oh? That's cool," Jihoon tells him. "I guess I can dance, but I like to sing more."_

  
_"Woah! You sing too? That's impressive. I like to sing, but, I'm not really any good. I bet you're good at everything."_

  
_"I'm really not," he denies, his face flushed, avoiding the overly eager Soonyoung's gaze. "My parents will leave in a few minutes, you know, so I guess this conversation's gonna get cut short. But, um," Jihoon hesitates. "Are you, like, free tomorrow?"_

  
_Soonyoung blinks. "Why?"_

  
_"I— uh, I hope you don't mind bringing me around town— get me familiarized, and all."_

  
_The other boy's eyes light up. "No! I really don't! I'd love to!"_

  
_Jihoon feels himself shrink more. Soonyoung is very much enthusiastic. Not that he's complaining. "Thanks a lot," he coughs. "You're, uh, actually really nice. I didn't think anyone around here would be nice enough to talk to me. Let alone even a boy my age as a neighbor."_

  
_"What are the odds, right?"_

  
_Jihoon hums in agreement, and they're interrupted by a rap on the door. "And that'll be my parents," he says._

 

_"Right. You can just come by whenever, you know. I don't actually have friends in this neighborhood either. But! I'll see you tomorrow?"_

  
_"Yeah. See you tomorrow," Jihoon smiles._

 

_With newfound friendship comes more than enough possibilities._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanky for reading djdjfjsjk ,,,


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